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In which John Kuester transforms from coach to comedian, all to the unambiguous delight of his team.

The 76ers beat the Pistons, 110-94 — and because analyzing Detroit is, at this point, probably redundant, here’s your explanation.

-KC

NBA Stats To Watch For: Atlantic Division

This has been a fascinating year thus far. It’s not just the off-season transactions, the Lakers going for another three-peat, or the hype in South Beach. From rookies to veterans, we are in the middle of one of the most exciting statistical seasons, ever. Most of that can be attributed to some of the all-time great players reaching the end of their careers or young guys trying to make a name for themselves. We are a quarter of the way through the year and here are the statistical standouts thus far:

Boston Celtics (1st, 17-4)


Jesus Walk, Jesus Shoots: Ray Allen has nailed 2487 career 3-pointers. 73 shy of Reggie Miller’s all time mark. Ray is hitting threes at a rate of about 2 per game and at that rate, the All-Time 3-Pointers Made record should be his by March. There is a chance he could break the record against the Pacers.

Pass-A-Holic: Rondo says that he wants to average 20 assists per game this year. I doubt he ever comes close to 20apg but his 14.06apg ain’t to shabby. It’s just shy of John Stockton’s single season record of 14.54. Rondo is definitely going to make a run at that record, but even if the season ended today, his 14.06 would be good for 3rd all-time.

New York Knicks (2nd, 14-9)


Resurrection: Amar’e has been on fire in the last month of play. Averaging 29 points and 9.7 rebounds a game. On the season he is averaging 25 points and 9.7 rebounds a game. If he can keep this up, it would be the first time a player averaged 25/9 since Dirk did it in 2004-05.

Toronto Raptors (3rd, 8-14)


The New Rodman: Okay, that’s more than a stretch but Reggie Evans body of work has been very Rodman-esque, averaging 4 points and 12.1 rebounds a game. His TRB% of 26.1 is the 4th best on record and would be the all-time mark if it weren’t for Dennis Rodman himself occupying spots 1,2 and 3.

Philadelphia 76ers (4th, 7-14)


Anybody Home?: The 76ers have an NBA low in attendance this year at about 13,000 fans per game. I understand that the 76ers are a terrible, terrible team but they can’t even give away tickets? At this rate, we should probably just start calling them the Seattle 89ers.

New Jersey Nets (5th, 6-16)


Doesn’t Do Windows: Brook Lopez isn’t taking care of the glass and that’s a problem. This year he is averaging 6.1 rebounds per game down from 8.6 last year. According to Basketball-Reference.com, Brook’s 10.2% Rebound Rate % ranks 3rd to last in the last 10 years on the list of centers at least 6’10” to play at least 25 minutes per game. Only two players have a worse rebounding rate; Eddy Curry (10.2%) and Mark Blount (9.8). That’s terrible company to keep.

Keep your pencils sharp and your calculators handy, NBA geeks! We’ll be back soon with the next installment of ‘NBA Stats To Watch For’.

@Suga_Shane

NBA OFF SEASON PREVIEW: PHILADELPHIA 76ERS
Fitting isn’t it that 76ers head coach Doug Collins already has a head injury? That’s what happens when you don’t pay attention while Andre Iguodola is shooting threes.
If you want something pretty go watch the Grand Canyon or Selita Ebanks in that Kanye movie.  Philadelphia - or “Illadelphia” if you’re Will Smith probably - is not a  pretty situation heading into the season. A lot of faith in positive  thinking. Like if Iguodola and Elton Brand both have career years, and second overall pick Evan Turner outperforms his subpar summer league and preseason, then maybe Philly can compete for the ninth seed in the playoffs.
What do you mean there’s no ninth seed?

Selita Ebanks in that Kanye movie.
Key Departures
They lose center Samuel Dalembert to Sacramento and replace him with backup center Spencer Hawes.

Aaaand  it just got cold in here. What happened? I mean REALLY cold. Like my  soul is being judged. Is Spencer Hawes one of those ‘eternal names thou  shalt not speak under peril of eternal damnation’ dealies? Because if it  is you guys have GOT to warn me about that stuff. 
Key Additions

Obviously, the big addition is Turner and so far early returns have  not been all together positive. Turner showed up out of shape in summer  league and has played catch up ever since, not cracking the starting  lineup on opening night. The good news is that, as I said, these returns  are super early. Quite a way to go before we know about Evan Turner.
Honestly, the 76er’s best move may have been in the front office. In August Rod Thorn was introduced as new team president, with a proven track record of  rebuilding both with the Nets and when he drafted Michael something for  the Chicago Bulls. Jorban? Michael Jorban.
Conclusion

No  playoffs. This is a team waiting for a new CBA before it makes any  waves, but Elton Brand has a nice bounce back year and the Iguodola  situation gets less cloudy as he switches from “franchise player” to “a  piece.”
Predictions & Fun Facts
Doug Collins will go nowhere even near a TNT game this year.
Jrue Holiday will change his name to Jrueish Holiday.
The Nocioni eyes respect and stares it down each and every time.
Try to keep Jason Kapono out of a 3-point competition. It’s why he plays!
Turner went to St. Joseph’s Academy in Chicago. The same high school as Isiah Thomas and William Gates from the movie Hoop Dreams.
Twitter: @AI9, @thekidet, @SoyElChapu
[SlapClap]

NBA OFF SEASON PREVIEW: PHILADELPHIA 76ERS

Fitting isn’t it that 76ers head coach Doug Collins already has a head injury? That’s what happens when you don’t pay attention while Andre Iguodola is shooting threes.

If you want something pretty go watch the Grand Canyon or Selita Ebanks in that Kanye movie. Philadelphia - or “Illadelphia” if you’re Will Smith probably - is not a pretty situation heading into the season. A lot of faith in positive thinking. Like if Iguodola and Elton Brand both have career years, and second overall pick Evan Turner outperforms his subpar summer league and preseason, then maybe Philly can compete for the ninth seed in the playoffs.

What do you mean there’s no ninth seed?

Selita Ebanks in that Kanye movie.

Key Departures

They lose center Samuel Dalembert to Sacramento and replace him with backup center Spencer Hawes.

Aaaand it just got cold in here. What happened? I mean REALLY cold. Like my soul is being judged. Is Spencer Hawes one of those ‘eternal names thou shalt not speak under peril of eternal damnation’ dealies? Because if it is you guys have GOT to warn me about that stuff. 

Key Additions

Obviously, the big addition is Turner and so far early returns have not been all together positive. Turner showed up out of shape in summer league and has played catch up ever since, not cracking the starting lineup on opening night. The good news is that, as I said, these returns are super early. Quite a way to go before we know about Evan Turner.

Honestly, the 76er’s best move may have been in the front office. In August Rod Thorn was introduced as new team president, with a proven track record of rebuilding both with the Nets and when he drafted Michael something for the Chicago Bulls. Jorban? Michael Jorban.

Conclusion

No playoffs. This is a team waiting for a new CBA before it makes any waves, but Elton Brand has a nice bounce back year and the Iguodola situation gets less cloudy as he switches from “franchise player” to “a piece.”

Predictions & Fun Facts

  • Doug Collins will go nowhere even near a TNT game this year.
  • Jrue Holiday will change his name to Jrueish Holiday.
  • The Nocioni eyes respect and stares it down each and every time.
  • Try to keep Jason Kapono out of a 3-point competition. It’s why he plays!
  • Turner went to St. Joseph’s Academy in Chicago. The same high school as Isiah Thomas and William Gates from the movie Hoop Dreams.

[SlapClap]

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