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Ammo back! (Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

Ammo back! (Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

The Stache may be gone, but Adam Morrison is back in the NBA. The pride of the Pacific Northwest signed a one-year contract with the Portland Trailblazers, which is effectively just an invitation to training camp. However, Portland is a team that started Luke Babbitt four times last year; it’s not like he’s trying to crack the Dream Team.
Morrison is pictured here in a Nets jersey, though he was a longshot to play in Brooklyn once the mustache disappeared. He offered to grow a ridiculous chin beard, start a podcast, and ride a fixed-gear bike to compensate, but Brooklyn held fast to their ironic-mustache residency requirement. So he headed to the next best option, Portland, where he hopes to rebuild his career while racking up DNP-CDs and guest appearances on Portlandia. Worst-case, he starts a diabetes-friendly low-carb food truck and learns to play the bass.
The Stache is dead! Long live The Scraggly Goatee!

The Stache may be gone, but Adam Morrison is back in the NBA. The pride of the Pacific Northwest signed a one-year contract with the Portland Trailblazers, which is effectively just an invitation to training camp. However, Portland is a team that started Luke Babbitt four times last year; it’s not like he’s trying to crack the Dream Team.

Morrison is pictured here in a Nets jersey, though he was a longshot to play in Brooklyn once the mustache disappeared. He offered to grow a ridiculous chin beard, start a podcast, and ride a fixed-gear bike to compensate, but Brooklyn held fast to their ironic-mustache residency requirement. So he headed to the next best option, Portland, where he hopes to rebuild his career while racking up DNP-CDs and guest appearances on Portlandia. Worst-case, he starts a diabetes-friendly low-carb food truck and learns to play the bass.

The Stache is dead! Long live The Scraggly Goatee!

Since arriving in Brooklyn, Adam Morrison has already managed to fit in with the locals by ditching the Scott Ian metal goatee and instead donning a headband. So Wes Anderson!
Not pictured is Adam’s DIY frayed jean shorts and Sebago boat shoes.
[STATISTICAL NOTE: The Brooklyn Nets have lost their first four games in the summer league and Adam Morrison has scored a total of 24 points so far. Also Adam still gives the most terse interview answers, ever.]

Since arriving in Brooklyn, Adam Morrison has already managed to fit in with the locals by ditching the Scott Ian metal goatee and instead donning a headband. So Wes Anderson!

Not pictured is Adam’s DIY frayed jean shorts and Sebago boat shoes.

[STATISTICAL NOTE: The Brooklyn Nets have lost their first four games in the summer league and Adam Morrison has scored a total of 24 points so far. Also Adam still gives the most terse interview answers, ever.]

In other news: Adam “Metalocalypse” Morrison has emerged from the depths of a Norwegian cavern and is currently working out with the Brooklyn Nets.
Legend has it, Adam defeated the Baphomet in a game of 1-on-1, devoured its heart for sustenance, and then travelled to Park Slope riding a fire-breathing dragon while listening to nothing but Mayhem and Samhain songs on his iPod.
(h/t BDL)

In other news: Adam “Metalocalypse” Morrison has emerged from the depths of a Norwegian cavern and is currently working out with the Brooklyn Nets.

Legend has it, Adam defeated the Baphomet in a game of 1-on-1, devoured its heart for sustenance, and then travelled to Park Slope riding a fire-breathing dragon while listening to nothing but Mayhem and Samhain songs on his iPod.

(h/t BDL)

Adam “Metal Mulisha” Morrison is still playing in Europe and has apparently turned into Dirk Nowitzki.

MORRISON WATCH 2012

As reported last month, two-time NBA Champion Adam Morrison has signed with Serbia’s Red Star Belgrade. 

It’s been lull since the announcement but we can only assume Adam has made a playlist of nothing but Pantera and Rage Against The Machine songs on his iPod and has been vigorously training for the Euro league. 

And then this happened.

In a friendly—or should I say not so friendly amirite? amirite?—game, Adam Morrison gets ejected after getting in a bit of a scuffle with Bayern Munich’s Bogdan Radosavljevic. Adam scored 17 points and got 6 rebounds but more importantly, showed Bayern Munich and all of the Euro league the almighty wrath of a former college superstar and twice over NBA champion who looks like a member of Dethklok from the TV show Metalocalypse.

The lockout continues.

(mark)

According to his Twitter, new Laker Matt Barnes has been going over the finer points of the triangle offense with his kids. Now, two things came to my mind: one) I bet the Lakers didn’t send Adam Morrison any Power Point presentations or DVDs about the zen of the triangle offense. I think the Lakers just sent Morrison to Venice Beach and hooked him up with Medical Marijuana card and said, “ride those chillwaves on the bench, friendo.”
Perhaps influenced by the start of the new season of “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia,” how will Matt Barnes fit into the Lakers’ version of ‘The Gang’? Last season, Ron Artest seemed like Charlie compared to Kobe Bryant’s Dennis, Gasol’s Mac, and, Derek Fisher/Phil Jackson’s Frank; Artest was the “Wild Card,” but with this upcoming season, will Artest continue to be Charlie or will he move up in the world and become the Mac to Kobe’s Dennis? Will Barnes become the new Charlie or if he fails to perform will the Lakers Nation deem him, Gail the Snail?
Or once again, perhaps, I’m just a little too anxious for the new season to start. Lakers’ training camp starts in five days, apparently.

According to his Twitter, new Laker Matt Barnes has been going over the finer points of the triangle offense with his kids. Now, two things came to my mind: one) I bet the Lakers didn’t send Adam Morrison any Power Point presentations or DVDs about the zen of the triangle offense. I think the Lakers just sent Morrison to Venice Beach and hooked him up with Medical Marijuana card and said, “ride those chillwaves on the bench, friendo.”

Perhaps influenced by the start of the new season of “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia,” how will Matt Barnes fit into the Lakers’ version of ‘The Gang’? Last season, Ron Artest seemed like Charlie compared to Kobe Bryant’s Dennis, Gasol’s Mac, and, Derek Fisher/Phil Jackson’s Frank; Artest was the “Wild Card,” but with this upcoming season, will Artest continue to be Charlie or will he move up in the world and become the Mac to Kobe’s Dennis? Will Barnes become the new Charlie or if he fails to perform will the Lakers Nation deem him, Gail the Snail?

Or once again, perhaps, I’m just a little too anxious for the new season to start. Lakers’ training camp starts in five days, apparently.

Wowowweeewow.

(huhwhatandwhere)

thehightopfadeaway:

The fastest Adam Morrison interview. Ever.

Sports Illustrated posted this gallery of Athletes in their College Dorm. Was Jordan sponsored by CBS Sports? Or just a huge fan? How much do you love Adam Morrison with that Bird Determination poster? After seeing the Michael Jackson shrine, do the Lopez brothers creep you out even more?

NEVER FORGET: THIS MAN HAS TWO CHAMPIONSHIP TITLES

In the off-season, Adam Morrison and his mustache (which has developed to full-on D’artagnan status btw) will NOT solve mysteries, but rather sit around and do epic bong rips while reveling in their 2 championships.

Meanwhile, Patrick Ewing, Charles Barkley, Shawn Kemp, Karl Malone, John Stockton, Reggie Miller, Chris Webber, Chris Mullin, George Gervin, and LeBron James will be forced to watch ESPN/Sports Illustrated commercials showing Ammo celebrating all summer long.

"Yo legends: tell me how my mustache taste"

(ED. NOTE: I’m really pulling for Adam Morrison. If JJ Redick can find a way to overcome his post-NCAA slump then hopefully so can Ammo. That is, if a team would actually give him some playing time. Dude did drop 30 points once in Charlotte…)

cheerupadammorrison:

Adam, you may have spent the season riding the pine, moping about in a dull brown suit, bitter tears of resentment welling up every time you see Luke Walton get the minutes you know you deserve … but surely this little fella convinces you that life is worth living, right?

Let’s all get behind this very important cause: Cheer Up, Adam Morrison!

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: Adam Morrison was in uniform tonight. Still has more championships than LeBron. Probably has more glass pipes and Bob Marley tees than LeBron, too.
(Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: Adam Morrison was in uniform tonight. Still has more championships than LeBron. Probably has more glass pipes and Bob Marley tees than LeBron, too.

(Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

Pregame Twitter Update.

Pregame Twitter Update.

Do you think Adam Morrison will tell Rolling Stone magazine one day that his last words are "I’m on drugs"?

Do you think Adam Morrison will tell Rolling Stone magazine one day that his last words are "I’m on drugs"?

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