NBA OFF-SEASON PREVIEW: INDIANA PACERS
“Bartender, pour me another”
BLOGHEADS: We give you our final team preview – saving not the best, but the most painfully entertaining, for last. To celebrate that fact, KC & I decided that if we were to write a season preview on the Indiana Pacers, we must, of course, do so while intoxicated. And if we expected any of you to actually read this, you must likewise be on our level.
So since we’re now prepared to drink, let’s make a game of it! Settle in for a long’un. Ladies and gents, without further adieu … our Indiana Pacers Drinking Game.
The rules are simple: grab a bottle or two (honestly? you may need more than two) of your favorite drink. Whenever any of the following is mentioned in this article, you must take a sip, or a chug, or a shot, or Ice a bro (what-have-you):
1. Any mention of a player of Caucasian descent
2. Any mention of a player with legal trouble
3. Any mention of Larry Bird
4. Any reference to “rebuilding”
5. Any reference to “potential”
6. Any mention of “lottery”
The Pacers are a team in-flux, stuck somewhere between rebuilding (DRINK!) and Chernobyl. Most of the issues came about long before Larry Bird (DRINK!) took the reins to the team’s front office. The Malice at the Palace is now one of the darkest and most pathetic moments in NBA history. All lines were indubitably crossed – professional, moral and legal (DRINK!). The Artest-era left traces of arsenic in the mouths of everyone: fans, coaches, front office, David Stern, kindergartners in Bargersville, your 98-year-old grandmother … literally, everyone. The Hoosier State’s only solution was to ship-out the All-Stars, dismantle a 60-win team and commence the rebuilding (DRINK!) process.
Only thing is, they weren’t truly committed to the rebuilding process (DRINK! See? Aren’t we having fun?!). They traded for a few decent players who had a lot of years and a lot of money left on their contracts. You know, guys the likes of Mike Dunleavy Jr. and Troy Murphy (DRINK! Aaaand DRINK!). What Bird (DRINK!) never realized is, well, if you’re going to rebuild, then tanking, purging your roster and starting from scratch is a (the) smarter solution. NOT, as demonstrated, keeping the mediocre guys around, hovering somewhere between 35 and 40 wins and ending up at the ass-end of the draft lottery (DRINK!) every year. What, exactly, does a strategy like that get you? Tyler Hansbrough? (DRINK!) Shawne Williams? Jerryd Bayless, who somehow turned into Jarrett Jack, Josh McRoberts (DRINK!) and Brandon Rush?
Honestly, you have to feel a little sorry for this team. They are most definitely a storied franchise, what with winning three ABA Championships before their jump to the NBA. In the Association, they’d kept that winning spirit going, advancing to the Eastern Conference Finals five times and even making it to the NBA Finals once. Plus, this is INDIANA we’re talking about: home of the Hoosiers, legitimate down-and-dirty high school basketball, Hinkle Fieldhouse, and some of the greatest college basketball fans on earth (unless you’re from Purdue. Sorry, KC is a Hoosier alum. DRINK! for the obvious bias, and also because she said so, and also for Robbie Hummel). So, if you’re from Indiana or simply admire the state’s intrinsic connection to basketball, hearing rumors of the team moving is more than disconcerting … it’s downright depressing.
Key Departures
Earl Watson, Troy Murphy (DRINK!)
Ok, let’s skip over Earl Watson. Sorry. The guy is just not a factor, and plus, he doesn’t help us drink. Troy Murphy (DRINK!) was a big part of Indiana’s game last year (14.6 ppg, 10.6 rpg). He’s one of the only power forwards we can think of in the NBA that can hit 3-pointers with consistency and still nab 10+ boards a night (oh yeah … also, Kevin Love. DRINK!). Cleveland made the wrong move last year in pursuing Jamison, they should’ve targeted Murphy (DRINK! heh) instead.
Key Additions
Paul George, Lance Stephenson, Darren Collison, James Posey, a much-improved Roy Hibbert.
At one point, Lance Stephenson was the best player coming out of high school. But like most of the recent New York product PGs, “Born Ready” can’t seem to stay on the right side of the law (DRINK!). After a promising preseason game, he went home and done threw his girlfriend down a flight of stairs. This is what we call “pulling an Elijah Dukes.” And it is not smart. We ain’t even bullshittin’.
Paul George might turn out to be an absolute beast if he can live up to his potential (DRINK! weeee are you drunk yet?). This might very well be the first legit player Larry Bird (DRINK!) has drafted since he took over the GM job. Wait, no, make that the second … Roy Hibbert is looking like the center Indiana was hoping he’d become.
James Posey was nothing but a throw-in, New Orleans didn’t want him and naturally, Indiana didn’t want him. BUT, Indiana really wanted Darren Collison so they bit the bullet and took on Posey’s albatross contract. Darren Collison showed the world his skill set last year when Chris Paul was injured and Larry Bird (DRINK!) was sold on Collison’s potential (DRINK!). Darren could actually turn out to be an 18-and-8 player this year for the Pacers.
Conclusion
Indiana needs a basketball team. Not just any team, no, they need the goddamn PACERS and they need them to start winning games like, now. It’s seriously the only way this team can pull out of such sticky financial woes and keep the franchise in Indiana. It has to happen this year and with this roster. Reggie Miller ain’t walkin’ in through that door. Rik Smits (DRINK!) and Dale Davis ain’t walkin’ in through that door. The burden lies with everyone involved to put points on the board, W’s on the schedule and people back in Area 55.
If the Pacers can get these youngsters to mesh and Danny Granger can play at an All-Star level, they have a good shot of taking that 8th seed out East. It’s that simple. Granger can straight-out ball. Hibbert spent his offseason with Bill Walton (DRINK!), a man who had endless moves and dominant defense. I am expecting big things this year. KC is expecting big things this year. Larry Bird (DRINK!) is expecting big things. And damnit, Indiana is expecting big things.
The time is now for this team because if they don’t find themselves still on the court into May, they just might find themselves playing in a different city come next year. And that just won’t do.
Fun Stuff
We have taken 24 shots during this preview. YEAAAAYUHHH!
Calling it now: Indiana will take the 8th seed out East. (Sorry, Cleveland)
Roy Hibbert WILL BE AN ALL-STAR
Twitter: @hoya2apacer, @8pts9secs, @indycornrows
Web: http://www.indycornrows.com, http://www.eightpointsnineseconds.com/
-KC and @Suga_Shane
MIKE DUNLEAVY JR. (DRINK!)
![NBA OFF SEASON PREVIEW: DETROIT PISTONS
The Detroit Pistons are flat. They are a flat team, a flat franchise playing in a city littered with flat tires, in a country with a flat economy, “discovered” by a genocidal explorer who proved the world was round. (okay now watch this) —> LIKE A BASKETBALL IS! <—
Since their ‘05 loss to the San Antonio Spurs in the NBA Finals the Detroit Pistons have been rebuilding on the fly. Maybe you can do that if you have a top 10 player to build around, but the Pistons won as a team. It’s what was endearing about their 2004 championship. They were a Jenga tower. Pull away one piece and the entire thing collapses.
Of course the Pistons still have some of those pieces, but they’d fit so much nicer on other teams. The experience and skill of players like Richard Hamilton and Tayshaun Prince seem like deadline trades waiting to happen. And isn’t it kind of sad that the Pistons best rebounder is still Ben Wallace?
The Pistons need to let go of the past. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. Actually it is your fault: Billups for Iverson? What was that?
They need a jolt of something. Maybe the reported Miki Ilitch purchase of the team will breath new life. Especially if he moves the team out of the suburbs back into Detroit proper, as it should be. Whatever has to happen ought to happen.
Key Additions
I can only assume the Pistons signed Tracy McGrady over the offseason for the same reason the Knicks traded for him. To keep cap space free and try and maybe catch big sleep in a bottle. Well done. Mcgrady’s questionable legs and droopy eyed on court demeanor will only add to the wane in enthusiasm in Auburn Hills.
The more optimistic addition is the 6-11 rookie Greg Monroe. He’s not the typical Georgetown big man. He has an almost European game, pick and popping rather than rolls to the basket, but he could fare well in a guard heavy offense that likes to spread the court.
Conclusion
Welcome to the Office of Redundancy office. Has anyone else checked out the Pistons roster? It’s like Noah’s Ark, two of everything. Richard Hamilton and Ben Gordon? Rodney Stuckey and Will Bynum? Austin Daye and Tayshaun Prince? Chris Wilcox and Jason Maxiell? That John Mason echo effect must have gone to Dumars head.
The Pistons are a 30-win team at best. No playoffs. But The Dirtbombs are still an awesome band. They should play at halftime.
Predictions and Fun Facts
Someone on this roster gets traded. It has to happen. This team makes no sense.
Ben Gordon joined the British Olympic team.
In 2008 Will Bynum hit a man with his car outside of a Tel Aviv nightclub. Courts later ruled Bynum was in tangible danger at the time.
Joe Dumars is still underrated.
The Pistons held tryouts for a new rooting section called the “Pistons Power Plant.”
Twiiter: @Adaye5
Sites: DetroitBadBoys, PistonsPost
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![NBA OFF SEASON PREVIEW: PHILADELPHIA 76ERS
Fitting isn’t it that 76ers head coach Doug Collins already has a head injury? That’s what happens when you don’t pay attention while Andre Iguodola is shooting threes.
If you want something pretty go watch the Grand Canyon or Selita Ebanks in that Kanye movie. Philadelphia - or “Illadelphia” if you’re Will Smith probably - is not a pretty situation heading into the season. A lot of faith in positive thinking. Like if Iguodola and Elton Brand both have career years, and second overall pick Evan Turner outperforms his subpar summer league and preseason, then maybe Philly can compete for the ninth seed in the playoffs.
What do you mean there’s no ninth seed?
Selita Ebanks in that Kanye movie.
Key Departures
They lose center Samuel Dalembert to Sacramento and replace him with backup center Spencer Hawes.
Aaaand it just got cold in here. What happened? I mean REALLY cold. Like my soul is being judged. Is Spencer Hawes one of those ‘eternal names thou shalt not speak under peril of eternal damnation’ dealies? Because if it is you guys have GOT to warn me about that stuff.
Key Additions
Obviously, the big addition is Turner and so far early returns have not been all together positive. Turner showed up out of shape in summer league and has played catch up ever since, not cracking the starting lineup on opening night. The good news is that, as I said, these returns are super early. Quite a way to go before we know about Evan Turner.
Honestly, the 76er’s best move may have been in the front office. In August Rod Thorn was introduced as new team president, with a proven track record of rebuilding both with the Nets and when he drafted Michael something for the Chicago Bulls. Jorban? Michael Jorban.
Conclusion
No playoffs. This is a team waiting for a new CBA before it makes any waves, but Elton Brand has a nice bounce back year and the Iguodola situation gets less cloudy as he switches from “franchise player” to “a piece.”
Predictions & Fun Facts
Doug Collins will go nowhere even near a TNT game this year.
Jrue Holiday will change his name to Jrueish Holiday.
The Nocioni eyes respect and stares it down each and every time.
Try to keep Jason Kapono out of a 3-point competition. It’s why he plays!
Turner went to St. Joseph’s Academy in Chicago. The same high school as Isiah Thomas and William Gates from the movie Hoop Dreams.
Twitter: @AI9, @thekidet, @SoyElChapu
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![NBA OFF SEASON PREVIEW: THE NEW YORK KNICKERBOCKERS
In nine years there have been four playoff games in Madison Square Garden. FOUR. That’s as many Olympic games as Knicks home games. New York is a basketball town in a basketball coma.
In previous years the Knicks have been little more than a team of horrible contracts not passing the ball to each other. Of course all of that was destined to change this summer. After two years of unraveling the Isiah era fans held bated breath counting down to free agency. It stirred old echoes in the world’s most famous arena. Any excuse to feel something about anything, even if it was Tracy McGrady.
When the Knicks failed to sign LeBron it was hard not to expect outright misery, but fans proved either too smart or too desperate for that. Instead they realized the Knicks did sign, arguably, the third best free agent on the market. They signed a big man with the most talent wearing the uniform since Patrick Ewing. They signed a guy who, on the day he arrived, proclaimed to the press “The Knicks are back.”
New Yorkers know that Amare Stoudemire is not LeBron James, but they also know LeBron James is not a New Yorker. He didn’t want to be in New York, and it’s the arrogance of New York to see rejection as the other person’s folly. “LeBron don’t want us? Well guess what? WE DON’T WANT LEBRON!” And so on.
Meanwhile Amare seems meant for New York. Could Donnie Walsh have known? He’s taking in SoHo, making the rounds at Fashion Week, embracing multiculturalism, even his bohemian side. He plays hard, speaks with an edge, wants to be a leader. Most of all though he wants to be a New Yorker.
The Knicks finally have a team. They are latching on to hope, and not just any old hope. They are dragging at the feet of Shepard Fairey HOPE this year.
Key Departures
Everybody?
Key Additions
Everybody?
Actually there are four holdovers from last season’s roster: Danilo Gallinari, Wilson Chandler, Bill Walker, and Toney Douglas. The biggest addition after Amare is Raymond Felton. While Felton isn’t underrated he may be undervalued. He was point guard on a national championship team, survived Larry Brown’s offense intact, and led an over achieving Charlotte team to a seventh seed in last years playoffs.
The other key adds come from the David Lee sign and trade: Ronny Turiaf, Kelenna Azubuike, and Anthony Randolph. Azubuike starts the year hurt, but Turiaf’s hair and hustle seem destined to make him a Garden favorite. Randolph’s worth is TBD. He’s all upside right now. Lets just say this. If he, and his expiring contract, get sent to Denver this year his upside will have been tremendous.
The Knicks also quietly signed Spurs shooting guard Roger Mason Jr., a surprisingly shrewd move by a front office not known for them.
Indeed, two overlooked offseason moves may prove the shrewdest. Most noticeable is Timofey Mozgov a lean, soft touch 7-feet left-hander from Russia. Mozgov turned heads in the preseason, working his way into Mike D’Antoni’s starting line up. His problem is foul trouble but if he stays on the court, keeping Amare at the 4, his value will be tremendous.
A more minor addition is 2nd round draft pick Landry Fields from Stanford. Fields is a swing player who led the Pac-10 in scoring and turned heads in summer league, and he may have played himself into D’Antoni’s rotation.
Conclusion
I’m high on the Knicks. I should point out “high on the Knicks” means an 8th seed. There seems to me an irrational pessimism about New York’s playoff chances this year, but they added a top 10 scorer and a top 15 point guard. The team has good locker room guys playing for a player’s coach in front of a very invested fan base. With all the new pieces it may be a slow start but give it some time. They’ll be seeing Miami, or Orlando, or Boston in the first round this spring. And you know what that means? Six playoff games in ten years! CHA-CHING!
Unless of course…. keep on big city dreaming New York.
Predictions & Fun Facts:
Tickets for the Knicks annual open practice at Madison Square Garden sold out in two hours.
These kids are Knicks fans.
In the ‘92 biography “Woody Allen” the filmmaker and longtime Knicks fan says his favorite current basketball player is Isiah Thomas, whom he calls “a latter-day Earl Monroe.”
Fun Fact Sad Fact: the movie Eddie.
Timofey Mozgov will have a better rookie season than Derrick Favors.
Carmelo will be a Knick.
Trent Tucker had a Gilbert Arenas beard and wasn’t so sad about it.
Key Twitter Accounts: @Amareisreal, @gallinari8888
Sites: NY Mag, therealkingfish, The World’s Most Famous Blog
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