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litandbasketball:

"Can’t repeat the past?" he cried incredulously. “Why of course you can"

- F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

Hakeem helps Stern come full circle at the 2013 NBA Draft via

Hakeem Olajuwon, who was the first No. 1 draft pick that David Stern introduced as commissioner back in 1984, made a special appearance at Barclays Center as Stern made his last pick on Thursday.

Stern, who is retiring as NBA commissioner after 30 years, finished his time at the podium by announcing Nemanja Nedovic as the No. 30 pick of the first round. 

Moments later, Olajuwon appeared on stage in a tuxedo (it looked a lot like the one he wore in 1984) to shake hands with Stern.

“I wanted to be here for your final pick. Thank you for an amazing 30 years,” said Olajuwon, the UH star who was drafted No. 1 by the Rockets. “All you have done for the league and the players, thank you.”

Thanks, David Stern, for 30 great years. And as always, BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

So, last night’s NBA Draft had a little bit of everything, huh?
And Victor Oladipo will end up as the best player of the 2013 draft.

So, last night’s NBA Draft had a little bit of everything, huh?

And Victor Oladipo will end up as the best player of the 2013 draft.

(Source: carrotcreative)

yahoosports:

Sad Nerlens Noel. :(

and then Otto Porter Jr…and then Cody Zeller….and then Alex Len…..

Cavaliers take Anthony Bennett from UNLV with the #1 pick in NBA Draft

In related news, Cleveland fans are already burning his jersey in bonfires all across Ohio…

Somehow (someway) Perry Jones III fell all the way from guaranteed lottery selection to #28 selected by who? The Oklahoma City Thunder. Sam Presti rides again.

(via nba-4-life)
Fear this.

(via nba-4-life)

Fear this.

With the #6 pick, the Washington Wizards have selected Jan Vesely, the “Czech Blake Griffin”. We’re already excited for All-Star Weekend 2012, when Vesely will try to dunk over a Škoda Yeti.

With the #6 pick, the Washington Wizards have selected Jan Vesely, the “Czech Blake Griffin”. We’re already excited for All-Star Weekend 2012, when Vesely will try to dunk over a Škoda Yeti.

I have not so strong body.
— New Toronto Raptor Jonas Valanciunas, who should fit right in on that team.
With the #3 pick, the Utah Jazz select Meme Okur Enes Kanter.
This dude’s first shout out after getting drafted was to the University of Kentucky, a team he didn’t play for. 
@Suga_Shane

With the #3 pick, the Utah Jazz select Meme Okur Enes Kanter.

This dude’s first shout out after getting drafted was to the University of Kentucky, a team he didn’t play for. 

@Suga_Shane

Dream Scenarios for the NBA Draft

It may be one of the weaker drafts in recent memory, but that doesn’t make the pageantry of draft night any less special. Still, it could be even more special, if any of these dream scenarios happen.

Kyrie Irving goes #1

As expected, the Cleveland Cavaliers draft Kyrie Irving of Duke with the first overall pick. ESPN plays the 1985 hit “Kyrie”, by Mister Mister, the most modern piece of music they have used on an NBA program in years. In his interview, Irving guarantees that the Cavaliers will return to the Sweet 16 before the Miami Heat ever do, but acknowledges that it might be tough to make the Elite Eight.

David Kahn makes a deal

After days of trade rumors and maneuvers involving nearly half the teams in the NBA, David Kahn announces that he has traded the #2 pick in the draft for the #6, straight-up.

Dan Gilbert takes revenge

With the fourth pick, the Cavaliers announce they have selected “Fuck You, LeBron James,” from “Ringless University”. When David Stern asks for clarification, a visibly drunk Dan Gilbert insists that’s his real selection, and places a Cavs hat on each of his extended middle fingers.

Brandin Knight crashes the draft

When the Toronto Raptors select Brandon Knight of Kentucky, a 30-year-old man in a Pitt jersey bounds out of the stands to shake David Stern’s hand. It’s Brandin Knight, former Big East Player of the Year, and Brevin’s little brother. As Brandin puts on his Raptors hat, and a stunned Brandon Knight waits at the wings, Bryan Colangelo frantically shuffles his notes to check his spelling, while his assistant GM vomits into a garbage can. “The NBA is all about second chances! We did it, everybody!”, Brandin yells, before re-tearing his ACL right there on the podium.

Michael Jordan drafts both Morris twins

After the Bobcats blew up their roster again today, sending away Shaun Livingston and Stephen Jackson, while picking up a top-10 pick. Jordan shocks the experts by selecting Marcus Morris of Kansas at #7 and his twin brother Markieff at #9. While Jordan claims he loves both brothers, an anonymous source claims Jordan simply got confused as to which was which, and insisted on drafting both as a precaution.

For reasons that go unexplained, Kwame Brown is forced to walk all of Charlotte’s selections to the podium himself, while Jordan quietly berates him, occasionally slapping him in the back of the head with the cards, Great Santini-style. When the cameras cut to Rick Cho, he’s in the parking garage, sticking a hose into the driver’s side window of his car.

The Kings draft Jimmer

With the #10 pick, the Sacramento Kings pick Jimmer Fredette, and immediately announce that they only did it to screw over the state of Utah, as revenge for their efforts to ban gay marriage in California. The Jazz update their “Best Caucasian Available” draft board, and frantically begin placing calls to Kyle Singler’s agent.

Houston can’t make up their minds at #23

An indecisive Darryl Morey can’t decide which Eastern European prospect he wants to stash overseas, so he submits a draft card made up solely of consonants, in hopes that he can decide on the specific Lithuanian player he wants later. When David Stern questions the pick, Morey quickly scrawls random diacritical marks over every “c” in the fake name. Chad Ford gives the pick a B+.

The Oklahoma City Thunder select Thor

With a stacked roster, Sam Presti uses the Thunder’s first-round pick on Thor, the Norse god of thunder who currently lives in Okalahoma. In a statement released by his agent, Loki, Russell Westbrook declares that he will be the one to wield the mighty hammer Mjolnir in the fourth quarter.

(Sean Keane)

Jimmer is some thing you win at a carnival, or rescue from a giant glass box with a claw.

2011 NBA DRAFT FUCKFACE2000

Bethlehem Shoals and David Roth will be liveblogging the draft at the above link, and we will all be better for it.

David Stern shakes hands with new Sacramento King DeMarcus Cousins. I’ve got a feeling that this won’t be the only time these two have an uncomfortable meeting, but it will be the only time Stern is smiling this much.

David Stern shakes hands with new Sacramento King DeMarcus Cousins. I’ve got a feeling that this won’t be the only time these two have an uncomfortable meeting, but it will be the only time Stern is smiling this much.

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