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BISCUTBALL PREVIEW #14: CHARLOTTE HORNETS

A real life bobcat reviews the Charlotte Hornets 2014 season, by Corbin Smith

Michael Kidd-Gilchrist had 22 points on 9-13 shooting tonight, along with 10 rebounds. He also guarded the reigning MVP, and on the play above, drew a charge on LeBron. Charlotte couldn’t pull off the upset, but they have to feel good about the future - especially since MKG is so young, he can’t even legally drink until September.
(AP Photo/Lynne Sladky)

Michael Kidd-Gilchrist had 22 points on 9-13 shooting tonight, along with 10 rebounds. He also guarded the reigning MVP, and on the play above, drew a charge on LeBron. Charlotte couldn’t pull off the upset, but they have to feel good about the future - especially since MKG is so young, he can’t even legally drink until September.

(AP Photo/Lynne Sladky)

Ladies and gentlemen, the least inspiring mascot in the history of the NBA, if not all sports combined. It’s an albino who is also a furry who is also a nightmare. He’s even wearing an unattractive jersey! And, like many of the human players on the Heat, he’s also wearing pants underneath his basketball shorts. If this abomination is on the court all the time, it suddenly makes sense why Heat fans arrive late to playoff games and leave early.

Ladies and gentlemen, the least inspiring mascot in the history of the NBA, if not all sports combined. It’s an albino who is also a furry who is also a nightmare. He’s even wearing an unattractive jersey! And, like many of the human players on the Heat, he’s also wearing pants underneath his basketball shorts. If this abomination is on the court all the time, it suddenly makes sense why Heat fans arrive late to playoff games and leave early.


White on white crime! Josh McRoberts puts the Birdman on a poster - that is, if anyone would ever manufacture, sell, or buy a Josh McRoberts poster.

Byron Mullens tries to put LaMarcus Aldridge on a poster with an impressive dunk against the Blazers, though Byron probably wants to see if there’s a photo for that poster where he doesn’t look like he’s about to hit the floor face-first.
(AP Photo/Chuck Burton)

Byron Mullens tries to put LaMarcus Aldridge on a poster with an impressive dunk against the Blazers, though Byron probably wants to see if there’s a photo for that poster where he doesn’t look like he’s about to hit the floor face-first.

(AP Photo/Chuck Burton)

Drake (sigh)

Drake (sigh)

I could shoot 4 for 12 and I’ll still hit the game winner like that s*** gravy

No, really, DWade was 4 for 12 before he when glass for the game winner, all while LeBron, who was 13 for 23 with a ridiculous 35 points, 7 assists, 6 rebounds, 3 steals and 2 blocks, stood in the corner and watched. Don’t worry, they both celebrated the win together by turning to Cam Newton on the sideline and giving him a taste of his own Superman touchdown celebration. 

Not a big deal to me but I’m sure Bayless, Woj, Whitlock and the rest of the LeBron-haters will magnify, dissect, and beat this topic to death tomorrow. 

And they probably won’t mention how badly LeBron got robbed on a dunk a few minutes before that.

@Suga_Shane

Charlotte, you’ve officially been Bosh’d.

"Athlete’s buy shoes, too"

"Athlete’s buy shoes, too"

NBA Haikus - 2011-2012 Season Preview - The Southeast Division

It’s going to be a short season after an even shorter off-season. We had limited time to track player movement, team development and bring you in depth team analysis, like we did last year. So the bros and bro-ettes at NBAO decided we’ll follow in the footsteps of the NBA and provide you with abbreviated team previews in the best way possible, haikus.

Our third installment of NBA Haikus is dedicated to the Eastern Conference’s Southeast Division. This division has a ton of star power and always gets 3 teams into the playoffs despite not having a single team play in one of the top 5 television market

Eastern Conference - Southeast Division:

Atlanta Hawks:
Add a great scorer 
His name, Tracy McGrady 
A decade too late
__________ 

Charlotte Bobcats:
Can Kemba play point
Boris Diaw likes cream sauce
Bismac Biyombo
__________ 

Miami Heat:
The Big 3 play D
Stuntin’ on the Jumbotron
Quarters one through three
__________ 

Orlando Magic:
Dwight Howard won’t stay
Deal with it, Orlando fans
Please fire Otis Smith
__________ 

Washington Wizards:
Bullets hands are back
Red, white, and blue stripes are cool
Rashard makes too much
__________  

Read more NBA HaikusAtlantic DivisionCentral DivisionSoutheast DivisionNorthwest DivisionPacific DivisionSouthwest Division

Penned by the undiscovered poets of the tumblrwebs:KristinDouglasMark,ThomasSeanCarlosMichaelKeith, Parker, and Shane.


Kemba Walker is always smiling.
He’s like a much better (much, much, much, much, much, much, better) Jonny Flynn
@Suga_Shane

Kemba Walker is always smiling.

He’s like a much better (much, much, much, much, much, much, better) Jonny Flynn

@Suga_Shane

I’d like to welcome the Charlotte Bobcats to the Cult of Biyombo. 
via Danny Chau

I’d like to welcome the Charlotte Bobcats to the Cult of Biyombo. 

via Danny Chau

Your Daily Blake Griffin Dunk: Even Blake was wowed by this ally-oop.

He seemingly gets shot out of a cannon out of this one, emerging violently from the pack to smash home the lob from Mo Williams. I guess the Bearded One wasn’t the only dude who could throw ally-oops to Griffin.

@Suga_Shane

(via: The Grand Archives)
!!!!!

(via: The Grand Archives)

!!!!!

No Coach, No Cry
Said, said, said I remember when we used to sitOn the sidelines in CharlotteOba, ob-serving the terrible BobcatsAs they would mingle with the better teams we meetGood games we have had, oh good games we’ve lost along the wayIn this bright future you can’t forget your lossesSo dry your tears I sayNo coach, no cryNo coach, no cryOh my Little Larry, don’t she’d no tearsNo coach, no crySaid, said,Said I remember when we used to sitOn the sidelines in CharlotteAnd then Stephen would make the fire lightBasketballs burnin’ through the rim at nightThen we would watch game tapeOf which I’ll share with youMy shoe deal is my only carriageSo I’ve got to push on throughBut while you’re gone…Everything’s gonna be alrightImma hire Silas tonightEverything’s gonna be alrightImma hire Silas tonightEverything’s gonna be alrightImma hire Silas tonightEverything’s gonna be alrightImma hire Silas tonight…
@Suga_Shane

No Coach, No Cry

Said, said, said I remember when we used to sit
On the sidelines in Charlotte
Oba, ob-serving the terrible Bobcats
As they would mingle with the better teams we meet
Good games we have had, oh good games we’ve lost along the way
In this bright future you can’t forget your losses
So dry your tears I say

No coach, no cry
No coach, no cry
Oh my Little Larry, don’t she’d no tears
No coach, no cry

Said, said,Said I remember when we used to sit
On the sidelines in Charlotte
And then Stephen would make the fire light
Basketballs burnin’ through the rim at night
Then we would watch game tape
Of which I’ll share with you

My shoe deal is my only carriage
So I’ve got to push on through
But while you’re gone…

Everything’s gonna be alright
Imma hire Silas tonight
Everything’s gonna be alright
Imma hire Silas tonight
Everything’s gonna be alright
Imma hire Silas tonight
Everything’s gonna be alright
Imma hire Silas tonight…

@Suga_Shane

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