NBA OFF SEASON PREVIEW: PHILADELPHIA 76ERS
Fitting isn’t it that 76ers head coach Doug Collins already has a head injury? That’s what happens when you don’t pay attention while Andre Iguodola is shooting threes.
If you want something pretty go watch the Grand Canyon or Selita Ebanks in that Kanye movie. Philadelphia - or “Illadelphia” if you’re Will Smith probably - is not a pretty situation heading into the season. A lot of faith in positive thinking. Like if Iguodola and Elton Brand both have career years, and second overall pick Evan Turner outperforms his subpar summer league and preseason, then maybe Philly can compete for the ninth seed in the playoffs.
What do you mean there’s no ninth seed?
Selita Ebanks in that Kanye movie.
They lose center Samuel Dalembert to Sacramento and replace him with backup center Spencer Hawes.
Aaaand it just got cold in here. What happened? I mean REALLY cold. Like my soul is being judged. Is Spencer Hawes one of those ‘eternal names thou shalt not speak under peril of eternal damnation’ dealies? Because if it is you guys have GOT to warn me about that stuff.
Obviously, the big addition is Turner and so far early returns have not been all together positive. Turner showed up out of shape in summer league and has played catch up ever since, not cracking the starting lineup on opening night. The good news is that, as I said, these returns are super early. Quite a way to go before we know about Evan Turner.
Honestly, the 76er’s best move may have been in the front office. In August Rod Thorn was introduced as new team president, with a proven track record of rebuilding both with the Nets and when he drafted Michael something for the Chicago Bulls. Jorban? Michael Jorban.
No playoffs. This is a team waiting for a new CBA before it makes any waves, but Elton Brand has a nice bounce back year and the Iguodola situation gets less cloudy as he switches from “franchise player” to “a piece.”
Predictions & Fun Facts
- Doug Collins will go nowhere even near a TNT game this year.
- Jrue Holiday will change his name to Jrueish Holiday.
- The Nocioni eyes respect and stares it down each and every time.
- Try to keep Jason Kapono out of a 3-point competition. It’s why he plays!
- Turner went to St. Joseph’s Academy in Chicago. The same high school as Isiah Thomas and William Gates from the movie Hoop Dreams.