After spending years acquiring the “other brothers” to superior NBA players (Taylor Griffin, Jarron Collins, Wesley Person, Robin Lopez), the Phoenix Suns traded a second-round pick for Marcus Morris, thus guaranteeing they’ll have the superior Morris twin no matter which one it turns out to be. They tried this strategy in 2006 as well, before realizing that James and Jumaine Jones weren’t actually related.
We are curious to learn how the Suns will label their jerseys. “M. MORRIS” won’t work, and even “MAR. MORRIS” is still confusing. Could they go with MARKIEFF and MARCUS, like they were Brazilian soccer players? They could also switch jerseys at the half if Markieff gets into early foul trouble - who’s going to question it?
Worst-case scenario, the Suns take a flyer on a lottery pick and get a cheap frontcourt backup for a few years, while Mark Zuckerberg steals the twins’ website idea. Best-case is that the NBA allows them to play as a duo, riding on each other’s shoulders Master Blaster-style, and the 11 1/2 foot, 560-pound Cuskieff Morris dominates the paint, despite his limited mobility. The Suns make a deep playoff run, and Coors Light finally updates their TWINS! commercial.