The Stache may be gone, but Adam Morrison is back in the NBA. The pride of the Pacific Northwest signed a one-year contract with the Portland Trailblazers, which is effectively just an invitation to training camp. However, Portland is a team that started Luke Babbitt four times last year; it’s not like he’s trying to crack the Dream Team.
Morrison is pictured here in a Nets jersey, though he was a longshot to play in Brooklyn once the mustache disappeared. He offered to grow a ridiculous chin beard, start a podcast, and ride a fixed-gear bike to compensate, but Brooklyn held fast to their ironic-mustache residency requirement. So he headed to the next best option, Portland, where he hopes to rebuild his career while racking up DNP-CDs and guest appearances on Portlandia. Worst-case, he starts a diabetes-friendly low-carb food truck and learns to play the bass.
The Stache is dead! Long live The Scraggly Goatee!