The Rather Late Ubiquitous Season Preview Update

We should have done one or at least a few previews, but many members of our basketball blog brethren beat us to the punch and the traditional sports publications as well. Never the less, here’s an informal, better late than never look at the 2009-2010 season.

• Ron Artest, in a way is very similar to the character, Charlie from “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia.” While it may be hard to see Artest dressing up as Green Man, but Artest seems like the guy who’ll cut the brakes on the van, declaring “Wild Card, Bitches!” before leaping out. While Artest seems intent on performing his ‘Ronnie Tasks’ like defending the best player on the opposing team, but he’s going to want to expand or at least get the Lakers’ Dennis and Mac (Kobe Bryant and Lamar Odom) in on some of these tasks one night. It’s going to be a wacky scene in Los Angeles beyond the Ron Artest situation and there is going to be so much material and fodder with the entire Kardashian Jenner clan parked court side for every single home game with national TV coverage. It’s going to be a nightmare for the Staples faithful (the people that sit in the 200s and 300s section). And to complete the “It’s Always Sunny” comparsion: Phil “Big Comfy Chair”  Jackson is Frank Reynolds, Jordan Farmar = Sweet Dee and Khloe Kardashian is Gail The Snail (There is not enough to salt to salt that snail).

• And if you want to continue on with the idea of comparing TV shows to teams, let’s look at the Boston Celtics and the show, “Breaking Bad.” The entire Celtics line up is Walter White and Rajon Rondo is Jesse Pinkman. It’s a combative relationship that defines the meaning of love/hate. Yet, they need each other in order to survive. While Rondo may becoming through a bit of a “Me first” phase, his scrappy attitude would seem so out of place on any other team in the association. We saw what happened when Jesse took the advice or started to hang out with somebody other than Walter. Also, the Celtics with all of their off season additions have become a Inglourious Basterds style unit. Doc Rivers wants his banner and he will not rest until he gets his banner. Also, I hope that Glen Davis pushes another tween with court side seat this season.

• The Spurs, in a way, is like the show, “30 Rock.” A lot of people love the Spurs and a lot of people love “30 Rock,” but I don’t understand the continued praise and love for both. Both were great and must see television during the early phase of their respective runs, but now, it seems old and a bit played. Tim Duncan is still good, but I don’t know….I just don’t see it. I just see myself falling asleep during a Spurs game much like the same way I’ve been finding myself falling asleeping during an episode of “30 Rock”. Not even a cavalcade of stars like Richard Jefferson and Steve Martin and DeJuan Blair and the guy from “Mad Men” could keep me focused on their shows anymore. Also, when will Manu Ginobili get injured this season?

• Is this year for LeBron James? Is this the year when LeBron James finally earns his nickname, “King”? Will Shaq, LeBron’s new BFF help him on this conquest? Or will LeBron pout like a child if and when he loses in the Eastern Conference finals to those Inglourious Basterds in Bean Town? The biggest and easiest way to describe the Cavs’ upcoming season is one giant question. Will the Shaq experiment work? What will happen with Delonte West? Is this just a team built for the regular season? Will LeBron James leave at the end of the season? If LeBron stays and the Cavs don’t win, will they fire Mike Brown? Will Anderson Varejao get a haircut? Too many questions for an 82 game season.

As for the rest of the league:

• The Orlandito Magic got better with the addition of Vince Carter and Brandon Bass and Ryan Anderson, but they’re going to be lack in pizza parties without Hedo. Also, hopefully Rashard Lewis’ devil beard got longer and more metal over the off season.
• Los Angeles Clippers have a gypsy curse on par with the gypsy curse in Drag Me To Hell. Nothing will ever reverse this curse, but since they play in Los Angeles, nobody notices.I mean, who did owner Donald Sterling fuck over to get such a curse? Blake Griffin out for six weeks on the night right before the season starts. A season where they could’ve snatched the 8th seed in the West.
• If the Washington Wizards stay healthy, oh wait, that’s right, Antawan Jamison is going to be out for at least six weeks already. Never mind, the Wiz will be better than last year, but just slightly. Only slightly.
• Maybe some people are expecting less from the Nuggets this season because key additions: Ty Lawson and Arron Afflalo lack the tattoos to be a true Denver Nugget.
• Sorry fellow Tumblr Bros, but the New York Knicks are developmental league team in a real team’s clothing.
• Brandon Jennings is going to be a lot of fun, but nobody will notice.