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When Dwight Howard dunks, I hear that dogs in the Orlando area bark, due to the atmospheric disturbance. It’s kind of like their response when earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes and other naturally occurring, but extraordinarily hectic phenomena happen. (It’s just what I hear, I’m not sure if it’s true.) But, honestly, it’s not even that Dwight Howard dunks, as much as it seems he falls from the heavens and grabs the rim to soften his impact on earth, while letting go of his friend, the basketball.
On the playground, dunks are called “bangs,” like the hairline of your favorite alterna-chick, except it’s a reference to a dunk’s onamatopeic sound. (Usage a la a spelling bee: “Dude caught an alley-oop and banged on him so vicious!”) But to the case of Howard, a real-life version of a cartoon superhero, they’re not so much “bangs,” but “KABOOOMS!” and “KAPLOWEEEES!” and whatever other—Adam West era— Batman sound effect you can apply to Orlando’s Superman.

When Dwight Howard dunks, I hear that dogs in the Orlando area bark, due to the atmospheric disturbance. It’s kind of like their response when earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes and other naturally occurring, but extraordinarily hectic phenomena happen. (It’s just what I hear, I’m not sure if it’s true.) But, honestly, it’s not even that Dwight Howard dunks, as much as it seems he falls from the heavens and grabs the rim to soften his impact on earth, while letting go of his friend, the basketball.

On the playground, dunks are called “bangs,” like the hairline of your favorite alterna-chick, except it’s a reference to a dunk’s onamatopeic sound. (Usage a la a spelling bee: “Dude caught an alley-oop and banged on him so vicious!”) But to the case of Howard, a real-life version of a cartoon superhero, they’re not so much “bangs,” but “KABOOOMS!” and “KAPLOWEEEES!” and whatever other—Adam West era— Batman sound effect you can apply to Orlando’s Superman.

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